This is in tribute to you. Yes my worm, its to you.
I have not learnt from past experience. This damnation of the past.
This damnation of the past called 'Hurt!'
I played the part of the fool. You are the puppet master, you were in control. I was the puppet. I gave the 'Hurt!' another chance. I gave in.
You were wonderful, no doubt about it. Absolutely the best by far and more. There would not be another better then you, God forbid.
What I have learnt, I applied ernestly, not to give too much. I can be the person you wanted, but I didn't. I was selfish. I was protecting myself.
Protecting from 'Hurt!' See it from anyway, I am still the very person that I was born, mold and taught. Never was the intention of me providing hurt.
So much as to protect myself, I had in turn hurt you. I can't really blame it on the past, can I? I have only myself to blame. This is really not the time to lament nor to give reasons. IF only..... bah!
The only person I can turn to now, God himself. For sure, God works in His own mysterious ways. For we are only man, I can't help feeling the need to lament it to God and start the 101 questions sessions, why this? why that?
We should always keep in check when we speak of God, with reverence.
Being the 'dog' for God is what we should be, alas, we man, always fall into the trap of being the 'cat' for God. We ask and ask and ask and we never give. We do not obey His word, we only obey if He gives. God extends His grace only if He felt the need for it. Right now, I do not know what or how else to pray? Right here, right now, all I asked is to show me.
I held her hands, almost felt like eternity. The soothing comforting pulse from her touch. The warmth, the softness, a tinkling sensation went thru me. How can I not forgive her. I waited with baited breath as she gazed into my longforn stare...... I hurried along to gather the broken pieces and super strong glue, made only by the best maker in the world, God!
Look out! Here comes Daniel.. the guy who finally had the heart for God and also her! You will see, my worm, that I am the one that I once was.
So here's your holiday, hope you enjoy this time, you take it all away..
It was mine, so when your are dead and gone..
Hope you remember this night twenty years now lost,
its not right
